I Will Be Ok

Every blue moon a song comes along that moves you, perhaps to tears, or has a jolting effect as if the ground shook under your feet.  It could be a childhood favorite or a ‘newly discovered’ track from a CD you were finally forced to listen to in its entirety because the repeat button on your CD changer is no longer in working order.  You turn the volume up and start singing along as if you were one of the hopefuls auditioning for the last season American Idol.  Silly as you may look or sound, you don’t care, it’s your song!  This is certainly the case when I hear the song “Be Ok” by Chrisette Michele.  The chorus goes like this:

Very sentimental, And my cryings detrimental,
Tell me what I’m getting into, I can’t lose my mind.
I think its time for me to let go cause my heart can’t take it no mo,

You were all I lived for but I leave you behind.
I’m a be OK, I’m a be OK,
I’ll survive, I’ll be fine, I wont cry no way
I’m a be OK, I’m a be OK,
Don’t you talk, I’ll move on
baby walk away

Granted, it’s a song about a relationship ending.  But during a recent conversation with a trusted friend, the question of ‘how I was doing’ since leaving my full-time job came up and I responded that surprisingly I was having a few bad days.  Their response, and I quote, “you just ended a 14 year ‘relationship’ with people you care about and love you.  In essence, it’s like a breakup.  But in due time, you’ll be ok”.

Funny, in the midst of the celebratory hoopla, nothing prepared me for the emotional roller coaster I would experience after ‘breaking off’ a 14 year ‘work relationship’. Over the past few weeks I’ve shed a many tears. There was a bout of depression and yes, just like most breakups, thoughts of running back into the arms of my former employer.

But as the saying goes ‘time heals nothing, it’s what you do with time that matters’.  Each new day brings its share of excitement and gets you one step closer to reaching your aspirations.  And with the passing of time you come to realize when things are just meant to be, and with that, I AM OK.

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